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Dying Inside


People die. Everyday, all around the world there are people losing their loved ones right now. Some die of heart attacks, others die suddenly, they sleep and never wake up. Their system just stops. Everything in their body stops. They feel nothing around them. They don't feel their family weeping and wailing over them. They don't feel the care people once had for them but never showed. They don't feel how it feels to lose themselves. They don't feel how it is to be broken forever. 

But that's all Allah's will, we can never interfere nor object. We can never hate it because we know we should be thankful. 
That's all Allah's will and we'll like it no matter what because we have faith.
Do you ever wonder what it feels like to have a severe disease like cancer for instance knowing it's too late and you're going to be gone forever? Did you ever put yourself in those patients' shoes? Take a moment and think about it...
Scary isn't it? Very terrifying that you don't even want to continue thinking about it. Did you thank Allah today because you don't feel death is coming? 
Here's the thing, you'll think about it, get scared, ask yourself if you're ready, are you ready? Then try as much as possible getting closer to God. 
You'll just try for a couple of days maybe weeks and life will distract and divert you away again. I won't suggest anything to maintain what you've started. You, yourself, should know how to always keep up with what you're doing. 
Anyway, have you ever looked in someone's eyes and knew they're tired and dead from the inside? That's the worst. Being dead from the inside. It's like your mind is working, your system is still going on so well, but you're not alive, you're just living. You don't know what it is to be anything but dead inside. 
Just emptiness.
Being dead inside is an expression for severe depression. You pass by depressed people everyday and you know nothing about it. You will never know anyway. They keep it to themselves. They put a smile on their faces fearing of your judgement. Once they go home, darkness takes over more.
That's what a dead inside person said. "It’s hard to say what it’s like to feel dead inside. To me, it’s sort of like someone removed the contents of my chest and left a gaping void where there is nothing left but a painful, sucking black hole. It feels like all the places that are supposed to do something – my heart and my soul – have been removed. And this removal has left open, bleeding gashes. Wounds that tear and itch and bleed. And just knowing that my heart and soul have been removed is breathtakingly painful. Feeling their absence is like feeling the absence of oxygen from the lungs. It puts one into a panicked and near-death state". 
I think now, we should thank Allah for all that we have because others wish for having just a portion of it. You're blessed. In every way. Don't ever forget that.